Maybe I’ve got Taylor Swift on the brain – she does occupy a lot of my playlist these days – I have found myself thinking about her song “Anti-Hero” where Swift muses about being “the problem” and the source of all the issues between herself and everyone else. I find myself wanting to say – “No, Taylor, it’s not you, that’s your insecurity talking.”
That being said, a number of my coaching sessions lately have me thinking about when people don’t realize the parts of the “problem” that actually ARE them.
This month, I’m looking at what we, ourselves, bring to a situation that may not be working as well as we’d like. Getting out of your own way is one of the issues many entrepreneurs have and don’t even realize.
“People issues” – sometimes known as “the soft stuff” – are often some of the most difficult situations we face in our personal and professional lives. Whether in an organization or working for yourself, repeated issues with a staff member, colleague or client can be some of the most stressful situations to navigate.
How often have you thought you’ve been totally reasonable, or tried everything you can think of and you’re still not getting the results you’re looking for? How often have you thought “It would be faster if I just did it myself!” or “What do I have to say to get through to them?!?”
They can keep you from achieving your goals at work and they can even hold you back from that promotion – or worse, cause you to lose the client, the employee, or your job! These are also the things that can hold you back from the time freedom you seek as an entrepreneur – impacting your ability to take a summer holiday or allow other team members to run things in your absence.
What if I told you there is a way to learn if you are part of the problem, and how building that self-awareness could contribute to solving the problem more quickly now, and in the future?
There are many personality tests and profiling out there. Most of the ones I’ve come across help uncover your positive qualities and strengths – which is helpful, and I feel there’s more to expand on.
For example, when I work with clients we also look at their ‘Positive Intelligence’ or PQ that helps you identify strengths that may have helped you in the past however now you have a tendency to overuse those strengths so they actually become a hindrance.
Things like – perfectionism, being critical, the inability to allow others’ opinions to influence your decision, analysis paralysis, and a lack of understanding of the emotional impact of a decision are all things that can get in the way of moving a project or situation forward.
To “get in your own way” means to hinder or obstruct your own progress or success, often due to self-imposed limitations, negative thoughts, or self-sabotaging behavior. It refers to the tendency of individuals to create barriers or obstacles that impede their own achievements, despite having the necessary skills or opportunities.
Getting in your own way can manifest in various forms, such as:
- Self-doubt: Constantly questioning your abilities and undermining your confidence, which prevents you from taking necessary risks or pursuing opportunities.
- Fear of failure: Allowing the fear of making mistakes or experiencing setbacks to hold you back from trying new things or pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone.
- Procrastination: Delaying or avoiding taking action on important tasks or goals, which can result in missed opportunities and unfulfilled potential.
- Negative self-talk: Engaging in self-criticism, negative thoughts, and limiting beliefs that diminish your self-esteem and prevent you from realizing your true capabilities.
- Perfectionism: Setting excessively high standards for yourself and being overly critical of any imperfections or mistakes, leading to paralysis or a reluctance to move forward.
- Lack of self-discipline: Failing to establish and maintain consistent habits, routines, or goal-oriented behaviors, which can hinder progress and impede success.
- Resistance to change: Being resistant to adapting to new circumstances, ideas, or perspectives, which can limit personal growth and prevent you from embracing new opportunities.
But what do you do when you don’t realize the problem is actually you – not the person you’re having issues with?
You can start by learning more about your self-sabotaging behaviour – the Positive Intelligence content is excellent – and by noticing repeated issues you may have with others.
There’s a common phrase: The common denominator between you and all your problems is you. Thankfully, the common denominator between you and all your success is also you!
Let’s work on making that common denominator work towards success.
Come back next month when I’ll talk about the many positive benefits of getting out of your own way – including being able to take a stress-free summer holiday!
Until then – I invite you to notice the common issues – and successes – in your life and work – and how you may be a part of the problem – or the success!
Getting out of your own way can help you achieve your goals at work and even hold you back from that promotion – or worse, cause you to lose the client, the employee, or your job! These are also the things that can hold you back from the time freedom you seek as an entrepreneur – impacting your ability to take a summer holiday or allow other team members to run things in your absence.
