10 Proven Ways to Build Confidence and Silence Imposter Syndrome

*Originally published Feb 2017, updated August 2025

I remember the day I watched my 11-year-old step onto the stage at her music recital with confidence.
She had two performances – one voice, one piano.

The auditorium was full of expectant parents and other students – a generous, forgiving audience, to be sure. They were there to watch their children, grandchildren, siblings, students, and friends perform.

Still… it was nerve-wracking.

I swear I could feel Kate’s heart pounding inside my own chest as she mustered the courage to stand up there and sing – out loud – something that, until now, had only been performed in our basement or behind the closed door of her bedroom when she didn’t think anyone else could hear.

Today was the day she would sing OUT LOUD.

And it took courage. It took bravery. And it took confidence.

As I watched, I wondered: What’s going through her head? How is she finding the courage to do this?

Because here’s the truth: stepping onto any kind of stage – literal or figurative – can feel terrifying, especially when you’re putting yourself, your voice, your ideas out there for the world to hear.

The well-researched book The Confidence Code by Katty Kay and Claire Shipman, digs into the science and social conditioning behind confidence. One thing that stood out: women, on average, report less confidence than men in almost every arena.

– Men tend to “just go for it” – even without all the facts or preparation.

– Women are more likely to research, rehearse, and second-guess before stepping forward. We’re actually born with less confidence. It’s genetic.

Even at my daughter’s recital, it was visible:

– The girls were polished – hair done, dresses pressed, and visibly trying their hardest.

– Many of the boys? Winging it. And the audience loved them anyway, even when they missed a note or forgot a line.

There’s something appealing – and powerful – about just going for it.

While confidence often feels like a mindset, there’s a biological layer too. Research shows that the hormone testosterone plays a role in boosting assertiveness, risk-taking, and self-assurance — and yes, women have it too.

Another hormone, cortisol — the stress hormone — tends to have the opposite effect. High cortisol can make us feel anxious, hesitant, and less confident.

The magic happens when you have higher testosterone and lower cortisol — a combination linked to a calm, grounded, and decisive presence.

The good news? Your hormone balance isn’t set in stone. Activities like regular exercise, power posing, getting enough sleep, and practicing gratitude can help reduce cortisol and naturally support your body’s confidence chemistry.

Confidence isn’t only in your head — it’s in your body too.

It’s been said that over 70 per cent of people, regardless of gender or culture, experience imposter syndrome at some point in their careers. Even high-achieving women often wrestle with imposter syndrome — the persistent feeling of being a fraud, despite evidence of your competence. You know the voice:

“Who am I to be here?”
“I’m not ready yet.”
“They’re going to find out I don’t really know what I’m doing.”

This inner critic loves to keep us quiet, over-prepared, or playing small.
It’s not just a personal quirk — research shows imposter feelings are especially common among women and underrepresented groups, fueled by both internal beliefs and external bias.

The antidote isn’t “waiting to feel ready.” The antidote is taking action in the presence of doubt.

I’ve got good news! You can grow your confidence. It’s a skill that you can practice. Sure some people may be more naturally confident than others however it’s like a muscle that needs to be exercised. And even the weakest muscle can get stronger.

Here are 10 ways to boost your confidence, quiet imposter syndrome, and start singing your song out loud:

Stop replaying “what if” scenarios in your head. Get curious about solutions instead of marinating in self-criticism.

Waiting for perfect confidence before you act is like waiting for perfect weather before you leave the house — you’ll be waiting forever. Action breeds confidence.

A mistake isn’t a verdict on your worth — it’s data. Men are more likely to blame circumstances; women often blame themselves. Notice the words you say to yourself when you don’t move forward as quickly as you might like. These are called Automatic Negative Thoughts – or ANTs – and they often have a theme that you can start to recognize.

The truth? Most people are too busy thinking about themselves to scrutinize you. And heck, are you here to please them or to be the best version of you, you can be?

 “Good enough” is often more than enough. Progress > perfection. And what does “perfect” even mean? It’s so subjective. Do the best you can with the resources you have in front of you.

When imposter thoughts pop up (“I’m not qualified”), write them down — then counter them with facts and evidence.You can retrain your brain to hear the facts vs the story you might be making up in your head.

When you tie your courage to something bigger — your team, your clients, your cause — it’s easier to speak up.

Keep a running list of accomplishments. Reread it when self-doubt creeps in. Remember how amazing and accomplished you are. I like to ask my clients to celebrate their recent accomplishments every time we meet. Most people don’t pause long enough to take in the reality of their successes.

Confidence grows through repetition. Speak up in meetings. Volunteer for the presentation. Share your opinion. Each rep matters Your confidence will grow as you do.

Gratitude shifts your perspective from scarcity (“I’m not enough”) to abundance (“I have so much to offer”). Acknowledging your unique skill sets will help boost your confidence in yourself.

Confidence doesn’t mean you never feel fear or doubt. It means you choose to step forward anyway.

Whether it’s a music recital, a big meeting, or launching your business, the stage will always feel a little intimidating. But the more you practice showing up, the easier it gets to silence that inner critic and take your place in the spotlight.

Like my daughter, you can walk up there, take a deep breath, and sing it out loud. Let your inner confidence run the show instead of your inner critic. 

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Want to get serious about growing your confidence?

I have a new six week course coming up – Align Your Confidence – designed to help high-achieving women overcome imposter syndrome, reclaim their voice, and step into their next level of leadership with grounded confidence.

Want to learn more or snag one of our limited spots?

Please message me at susan@susanelford.com We start October 15. 2025.