Top Signs You Need Stress Management—and How to Take Action

Sounds like the start of a bad joke, doesn’t it? Overwhelm, Stress Management and Boundary Setting all walk into a bar…. Overwhelm said: “Oh my gosh, what a day! There was so much stuff coming at me I felt like walking out – I didn’t have time to focus on any one thing and I’m just so tired all the time. I can’t join you two in a beer tonight, I’ve got a headache!”

Stress Management said: “Oh my gosh, it’s like you’re reading my mind!  I don’t have any energy these days, my neck always hurts and I can’t concentrate. I feel so unproductive but I’ve got so much to do!”

Boundary Setting looked at them both – “You two think you have it bad? I’m just so fed up with everyone asking me to do everything – can’t they see I can’t fit another thing in? I’m so busy I can’t sleep, I’m up half the night worrying and I feel bad because I’m taking it out on the kids – it’s not their fault – I just have too much to do!”

“Same!” Overwhelm and Stress Management said in unison. “No wonder we’re friends!”

Stress management, boundary setting, and managing overwhelm are friends. So close, in fact, it can be hard to know where one ends and the other begins. They often hang out together and can seem virtually inseparable.  That’s because they almost are – the root of the problems are really similar yet the solutions can be a bit different. 

Read on to know the difference and what to do about them.

Signs You Need Stress Management

A stressed person can experience a wide range of symptoms, impacting their body, mind, emotions, and behaviors. 

What you might be feeling:

– Fatigue and Low Energy
– Headaches, Muscle Pain, Digestive Issues
– Trouble sleeping
– Increased Heart Rate and Blood Pressure
– Anxiety and Worry
– Irritability and Frustration
– Feeling Overwhelmed
– Sadness or Hopelessness 

What you might be experiencing: 

– Difficulty Concentrating
– Memory Problems
– Negative Thinking
– Poor Decision-Making 

How stress might look on the outside:

Changes in Eating Habits: Stress can cause some people to overeat (stress eating), while others may lose their appetite.

Procrastination or Avoidance: Feeling stressed can lead to procrastination, as tasks may feel overwhelming or unachievable.

Increased Use of Substances: Many people turn to alcohol, caffeine, nicotine, or other substances to manage stress, which can actually worsen symptoms.

Withdrawal from Social Interaction: Stress can make you want to withdraw from family, friends, or social activities, as you may feel like you don’t have the energy to engage.

Nervous Habits: Some stressed people develop physical habits, like nail-biting, fidgeting, or pacing, as an outlet for built-up tension.

Signs you’re Overwhelmed

Honestly? Reread the above list – if you’re overwhelmed, stress management will help solve it. And if you’d like to dig further into the difference between busyness and overwhelm, check out this blog post from the archives.

Signs you have Loose Boundaries

Now, this is where it gets really interesting. I like to call them BRAVE Boundaries (the opposite of loose) – and if you have them or not – is something that can impact every area of your life and work. 

If you are a people-pleaser, and many women are – more than half the women in the world in fact –  you will at some point face challenges in almost every area of your life. From emotional exhaustion to difficulties in relationships, to doing too much and not being able to say “no.”

What poor boundary setting looks like on the inside:

Chronic Resentment: If you frequently feel irritated or resentful towards others, it may be because you’re saying “yes” to things you actually want to decline or tolerating behavior that you find uncomfortable or disrespectful.

Overwhelm and Burnout: Without boundaries, people often overcommit or feel compelled to fulfill others’ needs at the expense of their own, leading to constant overwhelm and eventually burnout.

Guilt and Anxiety: People with poor boundaries tend to feel guilty when they say “no” or even consider their own needs, leading to anxiety about disappointing others – often resulting in poor sleep due to the anxiety.

Difficulty Recognizing Your Own Needs: Often, poor boundaries lead to ignoring or suppressing your own needs to keep others happy. This can lead to confusion about what you want or need in your life.

Difficulty Asking for Help: People with poor boundaries may feel uncomfortable

asking for help or stating their needs, fearing they’ll be seen as weak or selfish.

Difficulty Making Decisions: When boundaries are unclear, it can be hard to make decisions because you’re used to putting others’ needs before your own, leading to indecisiveness or doubt.

Low Self-Esteem: People with poor boundaries often seek external validation, which can make them feel dependent on others’ approval and may lead to low self-worth.

Negative Self-Talk: If you’re constantly feeling inadequate or as if you’re “never doing enough,” it could be due to a lack of boundaries that causes you to take on too much or endure mistreatment.

What poor boundary setting looks like on the outside:

Overcommitment and People-Pleasing: Agreeing to too many tasks or constantly putting others’ needs above your own are common signs of poor boundaries. This might look like constantly saying “yes” when you’re already stretched too thin.

Inability to Say “No”: People with poor boundaries often feel pressured to say “yes” to requests, even when they don’t have the time, energy, or interest. This leads to resentment and exhaustion over time.

Allowing Disrespect or Tolerating Harmful Behavior: If you find yourself accepting disrespect or harmful behavior, it might be due to unclear boundaries that prevent you from asserting yourself or removing yourself from harmful situations.

Over-involvement in Other People’s Problems: You may find yourself overly involved in other people’s lives, either by taking on their issues as your own or feeling responsible for their happiness.

Neglecting Self-Care: When your boundaries are poor, self-care often becomes an afterthought. This neglect can lead to health issues, fatigue, and emotional depletion- giving into the vicious cycle of increased stress..

Does this sound like you? Then you definitely need to read this book: Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab. I’ve got other books on boundaries to pass to you if you want to exclusively focus on workplace relationships, however this one is the best I’ve found that addresses all the things. In the meantime, here are some ideas: 

How to Strengthen Boundaries

Self-Awareness: Pay attention to moments when you feel resentment or guilt. These emotions often signal that a boundary has been crossed or ignored.

Practice Saying “No”: Start small by saying “no” to non-essential requests. Over time, you’ll feel more comfortable setting limits that protect your time and energy.

Set Clear Limits and Communicate Assertively: Learn to articulate your needs calmly and directly. Practicing assertiveness helps communicate that your needs are as important as others’.

Prioritize Self-Care: Consistently engaging in activities that rejuvenate you can help you stay grounded, making it easier to uphold boundaries.

Seek Support: If boundaries are especially difficult to implement, consider working with a therapist or a coach to develop strategies for healthy boundary-setting.

Developing healthy boundaries is an ongoing process, but it can lead to more balanced relationships, reduced stress, and a greater sense of personal fulfillment.

What do Overwhelm, Stress Management and Boundary Setting have in common?

I mean, they walked into a bar together, right? They must know each other! They sure do. 

Stress management, boundary setting, and managing overwhelm aren’t isolated concepts—they are deeply intertwined. Stress often arises when we feel like we have too much on our plate, but without boundaries, saying “no” or cutting back on commitments can feel impossible. Similarly, a lack of boundaries leads to overwhelm, as we spread ourselves too thin and take on more than we can handle. In short, boundaries help prevent overwhelm, and stress management enables us to set and uphold those boundaries.

OK! I’ve got all three, help me Doctor! How do I de-stress?

Catch the symptoms before they’ve become a disease.

There’s lots of info above, and since I started my career, stress is now widely talked about and not swept under the rug – quite so much.  I get invited to speak at corporate offsites to help driven employees identify and manage stress, I get phone calls from exhausted women who are so, so tired, and don’t know a way out. In worst case scenarios, there are stress leaves, mental health breakdowns and women just quitting and walking out. It’s done. They’re done.

What you can do to for stress management

Know your limits! – Understand what causes you stress which will help you develop healthy boundary setting that will support you and those closest to you.

Build your self-awareness – Notice when you start to feel stress in your body – it could be in your shoulders, your stomach or in your brain. It’s a sneaky guy that can all of a sudden just be there. If you notice it, you can do something about it.

Once you know, you can take preventative measures: Setting boundaries can reduce both immediate and future stress, making it easier to manage overwhelm before it builds up.

What can you control? Lack of control is a huge factor in stress management – managing your time, time-blocking, and practicing self-care can help you avoid overwhelm and recover when stress levels rise.

Manage your emotions: Easier said than done, right? All three – stress management, overwhelm and boundary-setting involve recognizing and regulating emotions. Without boundaries, it’s easy to feel emotionally drained, which in turn heightens feelings of stress and overwhelm. 

Honestly, these three topics are at the root of SO much of what I see in my coaching practice and what people experience in their daily lives. There’s no magic pill, but I firmly believe that by developing self-awareness, controlling your time and understanding what causes your stress will all help you with stress management, reducing overwhelm, and practicing brave boundaries. 

To your success,