We’re coming up on iceberg season again. Up and down Iceberg Alley – the stretch of coastline from Labrador to the northeast shores of Newfoundland – colossal chunks of ice are once again drifting past. For locals, including those of us from St. John’s, seeing these icy giants float by is a welcome sign of spring’s arrival. I love it that there’s almost always one iceberg, that gets stuck just outside the narrows of St. John’s harbour, perfectly positioned for photographs. It never gets old!
Every year, the icebergs seem more stunning than ever. Unfortunately, this is a sign of global warming and climate change, but we won’t go there right now! Regardless, they are a natural wonder. Throw an image of a whale or two in there and you have an incredible experience! And that got me thinking: icebergs aren’t just awe-inspiring natural wonders. They’re also a perfect metaphor for what I see every day in my work as a leadership coach.
People Issues at Work: Are You Reacting to the 1/8 You Can See?
We all know the classic iceberg truth – that only about 1/8 of an iceberg is visible above water, while the remaining 7/8 lies beneath the surface. And in many ways, people issues at work operate the same way. We react to what we see: a team member underperforming, a peer lashing out, a leader seemingly out of touch. But what if that visible part – the frustration, the resistance, the silence – is only the tip? What if the real story is hidden below?
How to Prepare for Challenging Conversations Using the Iceberg Metaphor
In coaching sessions, these “iceberg issues” show up all the time. On the surface, it looks like one thing. But when we slow down, ask better questions, and dig deeper, we discover something entirely different beneath. Here are 10 real-life examples of iceberg-sized issues that have surfaced in some of my coaching conversations:
1. I can’t get this person on my team motivated to meet performance expectations.
2. Why is person X so angry all the time? Even simple questions seem to set them off.
3. I’m in a new leadership role, and my team doesn’t seem to trust me. How do I gain their trust?
4. It’s the busiest time of the year for our business and one of my team complained to HR about my abruptness – help? What should I do?
5. My boss seems checked out and distracted. How do I get them to focus on what matters?
6. Why am I snapping at my partner and kids lately? I don’t like who I’m becoming.
7. Please tell me how to stop the spiral that I go into when something doesn’t go well at work. I know it’s not a rational response, but I can’t help myself!
8. I was really looking forward to my old boss being reassigned back to me. But things aren’t the same. What should I do? I liked the old “us.”
9. My colleagues used to be really responsive, however ever since I’ve been identified as next in line for the VP role I can’t get them to email me back. What should I do?
10. The world is so crazy right now – and I find the guys at work are starting to act more “Trump-like” in how they deal with issues. I don’t like it. What should I do?
Each of these questions signals something deeper beneath the surface — fear, misalignment, burnout, or unmet needs. And here’s the catch: when we stay at the surface level, we risk offering bandaid solutions to root-cause problems. As leaders, colleagues, and friends, we need to practice curiosity. We need to pause before reacting, and consider what might lie beneath. Here’s how you can start.
Turning People Issues Into Meaningful Change
Below are 10 coaching-style questions you can use — whether you’re leading a team, supporting a peer, or navigating your own internal iceberg:
1. What’s getting in the way right now?
2. What are you really angry about?
3. What do you need to feel supported and successful here?
4. What do you wish you could do?
5. What’s truly most important to you in this moment?
6. What’s actually driving your stress or frustration?
7. What fear might be holding you back?
8. What makes you think it’s all about you? The other person/situation has a role in this situation. What is it?
9. What story are you telling yourself about that silence?
10. What would it mean to take one step toward the ideal life you want?
From Conflict to Clarity: Reframing People Issues Through Curiosity
Next time you’re tempted to jump to conclusions or fix a surface-level issue, consider this: What if what you’re seeing is only 1/8 of the story?
Slow down. Get curious. Ask better questions. You might just uncover what really needs attention.
Have you ever spotted an “iceberg” in your team, your work, or your life? What helped you see beneath the surface?
I’d love to hear from you. Drop a comment or send me a message.
And if you’ve got a personal or people issue that feels a little “icy” — stuck, hidden, complex — let’s talk. Coaching can be the space where clarity (and solutions) begin to surface. My virtual door is always open for a virtual coffee. You can book one right here.
Susan Elford is a Leadership Coach and Business Mentor who especially loves to work with women who want it all: a fulfilling career or business while living a full and satisfying life. Through powerful career coaching and business mentorship to get their career or business to the next level, Susan helps her clients get real about their strengths and celebrate and promote them so they get more of what they want: success at work; success in business & success in life.
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